Posts Tagged ‘cyber bullying’

Bullied/ Wausau Self Defense

You wouldn’t pick on this guy would you?  Most people wouldn’t yet, some will.  Because they are a little different, those with low self-esteem will sometimes target non threatening people because they think it makes them look “cool.”

How would you deal with verbal and physical abuse?  Should you learn martial arts so bullies will regret picking  you as their next target?  And should you  show them with force why they shouldn’t have messed with you?  Or should you go to extreme measures and show the whole world that you were abused by killing others or killing yourself?

Sounds like some wacky questions but kids go through this type of thinking all the time.  They play out the problems in their minds, trying to resolve situations,  and come up with their own solutions.   What type of strategies should children use to protect themselves from bullies?

Self Defense should start before you decide to take your life.   When you are bullied to the point where you don’t want to live,  or to the extent that you  go on a shooting rampage at a school,  something should have been done to see the warning signs a little sooner.  Prevention goes a long way.

A recent story where Phoebe Prince, hanged herself because she was verbally abused, shocked America and created concern about the role and responsibilities of schools handling bullying. (Recent studies have shown that one common factor in school shootings, was a lack of response on the schools part).   It would seem someone has to die to get attention with this problem.  That should never happen!  So, what methods do schools use to stop bullying and teach some sort of self defense?

Schools hand out fliers and teach children strategies to deal with bullies at school.  But, the situation is far more  complex than that.  Children have newer methods of bulling to deal with like cyber-bullying where children exclude, insult, embarrass  others with text messages and email.

One other new distinction  in the bully world, is the cool kids are doing a  lot of  the bullying.  An article was written in Tues, April 13th issue of USA Today.   The article described bullies as difficult to spot because they are “attractive, athletic and academically accomplished”.   According to the article, “a bully of generations past would have been a swaggering schoolyard lout, low on self- esteem , quick to lash out”, and “easy to identify”.

They went on to say,” it looks like we have been looking for the wrong suspects”.

The shove people around methods, we often stereotype bullies with, is not seen as much in schools.  Verbal attacks are the hardest to see,  and keep track of,  because it is all  word of mouth.  How does a school keep track of that?  Some schools feel it is not their responsibility  to watch every word kids say, who can do that?  right?

If a teacher is responsible,by law,  to report any type of sexual molestation they hear about to social services,  why would bullying be much different?  Children are killing themselves because of this, and it is a serious problem.  Children really do not know how to deal with the situations, and they should be taught some sort of self defense.

I talk to students about how to deal with bullying.  I really stand firm on letting the schools handle the problem if they are doing what they are supposed to do.  And what exactly is that?

The school systems have guidance counselors available to help students deal with problems like bullying. They will take the children causing the problem into counseling and talk to their parents  about what their children are doing to resolve the problem.

However, most students try to handle the problem on their own.  That is where the problem begins.  Most children do not have great conflict resolution skills and end up lashing out, getting themselves in trouble instead, or they retreat, in shame becoming more  introverted and as a result, they are  picked on more often yet.  The method of untrained self defense gets them in more trouble than  anticipated.  The situation gets more and more out of their control, becoming overwhelming.

This is what I recommend to quickly deal with bullying.

Let the school know about the problem immediately Tell your teacher.  If the teacher does not handle the problem, tell the principal. Most principals handle the situations  immediately.  Tell your guidance counselor as well.   That is what they are trained to deal with,  and they should step in to handle bullying situations.   They should be all over the kids causing problems or they will become aware of what is happening to help you in the future.