Posts Tagged ‘bullies’

Wausau Martial Arts/ADHD

Preventing a problem, (using martial arts strategies), before they occur (with self defense preparation) is my motto.   If you knew what an attacker was going to do before you were attacked that would make an escape much easier.  With aggressors being unpredictable, you really have to practice techniques with the assumption that they will behave a certain way, and learn to read body language until it becomes second nature. 

I have trained thousands of students during my life and one thing I have learned is, you have to pick a training partner that may annoy you during training.  Now, don’t expect them to be a great partner.  They will be the best and worst partner you can learn from.  Difficult people teach you what you really need to know about aggressive behavior whether it’s verbal or physical.

People bugging you with name calling or pushing you around are always very common situations, especially at school.  But, how can you practice techniques, defending against bullies verbally or physically?   You have to take a class, or train at a  martial arts school that deals with these situations.  You also must pick what I would call the ultimate martial arts partner.   

We tend to pick training partners with people we feel comfortable hanging around.  However, there is no challenge in that scenario.   I suggest picking a person that has a challenging behavior issue, like someone with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder to test yourself to to the fullest level.  If they don’t bother you by doing something totally unpredictable in the first few minutes you meet them or say something that gets on your nerves, I would be surprised. 

I recommend this strategy at my Wausau martial arts school.  This person would be your ultimate training partner.  A person that is highly unpredictable, usually aggressive, will do things without much thought and challenge your self control.  The perfect partner!   They will test your mental limits by doing sporadic unanticipated things.

ADHD people are also perfect partners because they exhibit uncomfortable behavior.  They may blurt out something verbally that offends you, talk out of turn and not even bat an eyelash doing it.  You will gain so much valuable knowledge from their lack of restraint and the abrupt moves done without provocation.  And more than likely, in a real life situation, the person that you find yourself having to stand up to one day won’t be a well behaved friend or neighbor, it’s going to be someone with a lower level of restraint. Your skill level will be enhanced due to your increased awareness or you will get totally overwhelmed by your partner.  Both are perfect consequences whether good or bad. 

You see your weaknesses if you were not prepared by abrupt attacks.  If you did not respond properly, your partner will usually tell you what you did wrong.  From my experience, they always seem to like to tell you when you were overwhelmed and your feelings are a little hurt but make sure you don’t take their help in a negative way.  They may have tackled you, mauled you, or whatever they tend to do.  That was your best lesson of the day.  Actual real life encounters by an aggressive unpredictable person, in a controlled setting. Law enforcement individuals don’t show up to a call, expecting every person to be cooperative. Yet with practice, handling tough situations becomes less intimidating.

Sure it is uncomfortable to be bothered, but where else will you have a safe, perfect training ground like in a martial arts school.  A black belt is there to ensure your safety when things get too tough and you can learn from actual experience. 

Need a partner, pick the tough ones, not the easiest so you can learn more and get the most of your training. 

Have you ever trained with an ADHD student?  Whether good or bad, tell me your story!

Bullied/ Wausau Self Defense

You wouldn’t pick on this guy would you?  Most people wouldn’t yet, some will.  Because they are a little different, those with low self-esteem will sometimes target non threatening people because they think it makes them look “cool.”

How would you deal with verbal and physical abuse?  Should you learn martial arts so bullies will regret picking  you as their next target?  And should you  show them with force why they shouldn’t have messed with you?  Or should you go to extreme measures and show the whole world that you were abused by killing others or killing yourself?

Sounds like some wacky questions but kids go through this type of thinking all the time.  They play out the problems in their minds, trying to resolve situations,  and come up with their own solutions.   What type of strategies should children use to protect themselves from bullies?

Self Defense should start before you decide to take your life.   When you are bullied to the point where you don’t want to live,  or to the extent that you  go on a shooting rampage at a school,  something should have been done to see the warning signs a little sooner.  Prevention goes a long way.

A recent story where Phoebe Prince, hanged herself because she was verbally abused, shocked America and created concern about the role and responsibilities of schools handling bullying. (Recent studies have shown that one common factor in school shootings, was a lack of response on the schools part).   It would seem someone has to die to get attention with this problem.  That should never happen!  So, what methods do schools use to stop bullying and teach some sort of self defense?

Schools hand out fliers and teach children strategies to deal with bullies at school.  But, the situation is far more  complex than that.  Children have newer methods of bulling to deal with like cyber-bullying where children exclude, insult, embarrass  others with text messages and email.

One other new distinction  in the bully world, is the cool kids are doing a  lot of  the bullying.  An article was written in Tues, April 13th issue of USA Today.   The article described bullies as difficult to spot because they are “attractive, athletic and academically accomplished”.   According to the article, “a bully of generations past would have been a swaggering schoolyard lout, low on self- esteem , quick to lash out”, and “easy to identify”.

They went on to say,” it looks like we have been looking for the wrong suspects”.

The shove people around methods, we often stereotype bullies with, is not seen as much in schools.  Verbal attacks are the hardest to see,  and keep track of,  because it is all  word of mouth.  How does a school keep track of that?  Some schools feel it is not their responsibility  to watch every word kids say, who can do that?  right?

If a teacher is responsible,by law,  to report any type of sexual molestation they hear about to social services,  why would bullying be much different?  Children are killing themselves because of this, and it is a serious problem.  Children really do not know how to deal with the situations, and they should be taught some sort of self defense.

I talk to students about how to deal with bullying.  I really stand firm on letting the schools handle the problem if they are doing what they are supposed to do.  And what exactly is that?

The school systems have guidance counselors available to help students deal with problems like bullying. They will take the children causing the problem into counseling and talk to their parents  about what their children are doing to resolve the problem.

However, most students try to handle the problem on their own.  That is where the problem begins.  Most children do not have great conflict resolution skills and end up lashing out, getting themselves in trouble instead, or they retreat, in shame becoming more  introverted and as a result, they are  picked on more often yet.  The method of untrained self defense gets them in more trouble than  anticipated.  The situation gets more and more out of their control, becoming overwhelming.

This is what I recommend to quickly deal with bullying.

Let the school know about the problem immediately Tell your teacher.  If the teacher does not handle the problem, tell the principal. Most principals handle the situations  immediately.  Tell your guidance counselor as well.   That is what they are trained to deal with,  and they should step in to handle bullying situations.   They should be all over the kids causing problems or they will become aware of what is happening to help you in the future.